Tuesday, 15 December 2009

Oh No You Didn't - Dealing With Strange Proposals

Have any of you ever been proposed to with absurd comments which make you wonder what the person was thinking when they decided to write them?

Recently I was greeted with "kisses". Thank goodness, it was only online. And another complained about how I was being choosy because I wanted someone around my age range (coz I don't think I'll be all that at ease marry someone around my dad's age - no joke) or perhaps it was the practicing Muslim part. Actually, many of these guys are offended if what you are looking for isn't them. And then I get asked something which I felt doesn't really reflect how a person practices religion. Although, this wasn't the bad part of his so called "proposal". Usually, it doesn't make a good impression if you start off your proposal to get to know someone with criticism.

Generally, I respond to everyone who writes to me, no matter how strange it sounds but I've started to get tired of the weird messages and have decided to avoid responding to many simply because I don't know HOW to respond. And I actually feel guilty because if I took the trouble to write to someone, I would at least hope to know if they are not interested.

I think the most unfortunate proposal was of someone with quite an inappropriate picture. I'm still unsure if it was put up purposely or unknowingly. The picture was taken in a studio and perhaps the photographer should have been more careful in the way he positioned his subject. Actually, that reminds me of a second brother's pic which also seemed inappropriate to me. I understand that guys are trying to attract their perspective spouses but it should be done within limits. Alhumdulillah, it's not too often that I come across such profiles/proposals.

Sounds funny. :P Read about it here. I wonder if the people being proposed along with hundred others to would find it weird. :P

Well guys and girls, I might be taking a little blogging break. I'll try to type up interesting things as and when they come to mind but it may not be as regular. Thank you for being such fantastic readers & commenters so far. :D InshaAllah, you'll be around to share more of your insight with me. :)


Chiara said...

No strange written proposals, but then you and I went about getting married in very different ways. You might want to establish a brief form style letter for the weird ones, just to offer the courtesy of a reply, and prevent repeats.

Awwww, just when I found your blog, you are taking a break? Will keep an eye out for the new postings, as irregular as they may be.

Imperfect Stepford Wife said...

Hubby sent me a card asking for my hand...I don't know is that weird? I thought it was, but I also thought that he was a sweet-heart. I still have that card.

Re the ad: I don't think that the different ways of proposing are strange. I think of people meeting and going to Vegas and getting married within a day of knowing each other and stuff like that. I mean that's a huge gamble, so I would hope that Muslims don't gamble with that but who knows.

I'm actually attending an Islamic conference tomorrow and there is going to be some match-making. I don't have the details but there was something about there being interaction for the purpose of marriage (this would be monitored of course).

I would feel so funny being one of those women, but I guess it's not abnormal, even though I have a few reservations. I'll report back if I can take a peep in.

Imperfect Stepford Wife said...

Sis I was taken aback when I saw this, since the topic is all about what you're discussing. I don't think there's any other way to link this, so I'm pasting it below.

To be honest I thought most of the proposals were kind of (imo)tacky, not cool or anything. See for yourself.


single4now said...

Chiara - that's good. Strange proposals are not necessarily a good thing. lol. As for the break, yea, I need to change my focus for a while. :)

ISW - yea, I'd feel a little weird if it was in that setting. But sure let us know. :D As for your hubby, aww, sweet, mashaAllah. Did you know him much before the proposal? How did you react to the card or is that too personal to ask?

I never really imagined being proposed. :P Or at least not the kneeling down or fancy date and all that, like how they do it in the movies. I just imagine it'll be some mutual decision. That's tough enough to get!

As for the marriage proposals, some of them are quite cheesy, like catching a fish? I think it totally depends on the person. If the couple know each other and what they like, then that proposal could be the best thing for them but for others, it may be the worst way to propose. The only one I liked was the wording for the last one especially the part, "he couldn't imagine any adventure he would want to embark on without me by his side". Now who wouldn't wanna hear that? :D Although, it's not really making me teary eyed. lol.

Oh well, what do I know. :P

Salma said...

You know alot. You know what you don't want, and what is distasteful.

Hubby and I had my very good friend A looking over our shoulders. This girl was amazing, we actually met on the train just before I was introduced to hubby and when I told her about him, she just jumped in and took over, making sure that he was suitable etc, so the card was a good gesture, as I think I actually asked for something in writing to bring back to her.

I think the card solidified it, and me being a sentimental fool, I loved the idea of having something to hold on to. Cheesy I know.

single4now said...

MashaAllah, it's nice to have friends who are ready to help you and have your best interest at heart. :D

As for the card, that was smart to have proof! If a guy is hesitant about writing down his intentions, there's something fishy going on. Also, if he's not willing to talk about you to his parents, that's highly suspicious because generally when you are interested in marrying someone, you'd want your parents to help you and support the decision & meet the person's parents to get matters moving.

I don't think it's cheesy to keep the card for memories. You should frame it. :D Things & moments that promote love between a husband and wife should be cherished. :D