Friday, 14 January 2011

And That Is That

I can't say it turned out negative. I'm a little confused on what to make of it. But perhaps more than me the brother is confused and perhaps a little apprehensive about marriage or it's discussion with just anyone. I can understand that because I'm beginning to realize, not everyone can be sensitive about the issue. Not even people you call friends or those you consider mature. They start arguing to you about right and wrong instead of trying to understand your dilemma.

Khair, on to other prospects. :)

Thursday, 13 January 2011

Non-Religious Professionals

While going through a bunch of online profiles of professionals in the same field as me as well as other fields, I was surprised to find how many of them don't pray salah on a regular basis. It's disappointing.

Sunan at-Tirmidhi (Jami-al-Tirmidhi) Chapter No: 1, Taharah (Purification)
Hadith no: 4
Narrated: Jabir bin Abdullah
narrated that Allah's Messenger (SAW) said,"They key to paradise is the salah and the key to the salah is ablution." [Ahmed14668]

Is it necessary to compromise your deen in order to have a great career? Or to even do well in it? Or it just the way the world works now? A dedicated worker cannot be a family man/woman, actively working on their imaan and leading a healthy lifestyle? If we have to give up one thing to accommodate another, I have to wonder who made up these rules in the first place.

Wednesday, 12 January 2011


As an update, I asked another brother to mediate and see if he can get the feel of how the brother feels about marriage and if he would consider communication. As luck would have it, they haven't had a chance to speak as yet so I'm still waiting. I don't want things to be rushed yet I'd rather I know asap if it's a no.

I've tried praying istikhara and I have been having completely mixed feelings. Sometimes, I felt it shouldn't be pursued. Other times, I felt I should consider it. So, I guess these are just my personal feelings and if it's meant to be, I'll find out when the brother decides whether he wants to proceed to discussions or not. At the moment, I feel very neutral about it.

Khair, inshaAllah.

Sunday, 9 January 2011

Do Opposites Attract?

I think it's about time I had a post regarding my search. :P Here goes nothing!

I've been thinking of contacting a brother for a few days now but for several reasons, I've decided against it. One of the reasons is that I feel we are very different. He's definitely more religious than I am which makes me wonder if he'd consider marrying someone who hasn't reached his level of religiousness. Also, his interests seem to be extremely different from mine. There have been very few conversations that we've had (always in a group) and most of the time I have had very little input to offer on the matter because I do not generally enjoy reading/discussing about such topics in great detail. We definitely have different tastes in literature. And as far as I know, Islam may very well be the only thing common between us.

Pretty much the only reason I am even considering him is because he seems to have a very good nature. I've never heard him put down anyone or insult anyone. He definitely has a good sense of humor which he rarely shows but it's always good to know one isn't a completely serious lifeless person. :P

There are a lot of good reasons I can think of why this may not even work out but my friends insist that I should definitely consider at least letting him know of my interest. I suppose you develop an interest in what interests your spouse but I think two people should be able to talk to someone about things they love. I'm just not sure if opposites can truly attract one another.

Pleasant Surprise

Happy New Year folks and all that. :D It's been a while that I had logged in and decided to make a post. But I was pleasantly surprised to find that people are still reading and commenting on my blog. It's going to take a while for me to go through them and approve them.

I know I've been on a long break but I had also taken a break from the marriage search. Inshallah, I'm back and will share details of my journey as and when possible. :)

Some of the comments, I've read and decided I should post a reply without publishing them for the sake of the poster.
1. In response to matrimonial sites charging money (you know who you are) - unfortunately there are very few sites that will not charge money while providing you a decent service. It obviously takes money, time, effort to run a site. Hosting profiles, people accessing them requires bandwidth which costs money. Plus, providing the users support or other features which requires a tech team along with designing the site so that it's user friendly. It all costs money. I think in that sense Baba Ali's site should be the best. He's upfront about his charges. It's specifically for Muslims. He's reasonable and mashaAllah a very decent and humble brother. I think it's okay to pay money when joining matrimonial sites but yes, if it's an Islamic site, then you should try to make sure that they are not a dating site & people you contact are willing to communicate within the boundaries of Islam. My only reason for not publishing your comment is because you seemed a little annoyed at the time so you may not generally use the same choice of words otherwise. Yet, I wanted to respond to you. I think your concern is a good one.

2. To anonymous wondering about practicing/studying medicine while being married - I think it depends on you as a person. Marriage is a responsibility in of itself. I believe it's difficult to juggle marriage and studies. And even practicing medicine means you are in for a very busy initial phase which requires an extremely understanding partner. I think the best way to go about it is to speak to married dr.s. Preferably, I would delay marriage until you complete your studies since you are still quite young. Or some prefer to have a nikah but not a walima until they complete but that too is difficult since medicine is a very long course. Pray istikhara, speak at length to dr.s, your prospective spouse and your parents. Maybe even start medicine first, see how hectic your schedule is before you make a final decision. Either way, I wish you luck. Since you had shared your email, for your safety, I haven't approved the comment.

If there was a way to edit comments, it would make things a lot easier. Anyone know how?