Wednesday, 20 July 2011

Amazed!

I'm quite amazed that even though I took a rather long break from my blog, I'm still getting comments. It's so nice to hear people can relate to what you are going through. Makes you feel that you aren't alone.

One of the reasons I took a break from blogging was because I had no real insight to share on the marriage front. I can't constantly be on the hunt because of the kind of proposals I was getting were starting to annoy me. I used to make a habit of responding to every person even if I was going to reject them because I would want to know if someone is interested in me or not. But after a while even rejecting people becomes frustrating.

Since I'm here, I might as well answer the questions I got via comments. Firstly as salaamualaikum/walaikumas salaam to all!

The Good Daughter - mashaAllah! That's great. I think a few pictures initially should be enough to determine if you find a person attractive or not so it's great that your fiance didn't require a lot of pictures. And as for the chat, it never happened so alhumdulillah. :) I've even forgotten who I was speaking about. lol.

Patricia - Agreed. Looks shouldn't be the priority. Looks fade so I find it strange if the only thing a man mentions is that he thinks I look good and is satisfied with that to marry me. And yes, I find it really uncomfortable when a guy becomes casual and starts referring to me as dear, love, etc. It might nromal for him to speak that way to other girls as well. To me that's a problem with boundaries. Terms of endearment are fine after marriage or with family, not every member of the opposite gender that you may get married to. But that's just my take on it.

hijabi.sailoress - good tip. ;)

Anon 1 - how do I handle rejections? Well, since I don't get attached to any of my "suitors" (taking someone's suggestion :D) I don't get offended by them rejecting me. Well, you feel bad for a bit. But then you move on. You can't be completely detached so it's okay to feel upset. Just don't let it get to you to the extent that you feel miserable about it. When its meant to happen, it will.

Anon 2 - lol, that is an odd request for advice since I'm still single. If there is no mosque near you to get to know people and form connections, then I'd suggest looking online. But beware of certain "islamic" websites. I'd go for the popular ones like singlemuslim.com or halfourdeen.com (latter is a decent priced option). But there's nothing and no one who can assure you that you'd find your mate. You have to speak to a lot of people and inshallah you'll find her. If you do go the online route, make sure you fill a decent amount of info in the sections about you and who you are looking for. Blank profiles don't really help.

Soulseek - same old. But thanks for the advice. :) It's always great to hear a male perspective.

Anon 3 - or he's chatting with a bunch of girls at a time so he's deciding who he likes best while to talks to a bunch of them. Just a thought but not necessarily the case.

CATGIRL - suitors it is. lol. I am not sure what you mean about teachers, please elaborate?

I can't promise that I'm back. I've been busy with other stuff I've taken up. Plus Ramadan is just around the corner but I'll try to keep posting updates. Keep me in your duas. :)

4 comments:

Chiara said...

Nice to see you back.

Your post is also a reminder that life will and should go on as the search for a partner continues, and even after marriage.

Perhaps, as time allows, you could share more general ideas, outside resources on topics related to your overall theme, taking the pressure off your personal quest as always being the blog topic.

Just a thought. :D

Inzi said...

Assalamualaikum,
Its gud to see that you are posting again.. Hope to see more posts from you soon..
~insaf

Aware Of Faith said...

You have a great blog going here and i'm intrigued on how it will turn out after you've found the "ONE". May Allaah swt keep you steadfast and May Allaah swt grant you one whose cool to your eyes and one who fills you with tranquility and May Allaah swt grant you children who bring you joy and happiness. Allaahumma ameen.

keep the blog going inshaAllaah. you've earned a new reader lol

single4now said...

Chiara - thank you. lol. I think this is why most people don't focus completely on the marriage aspect. It makes their lives look dull and revolving around just one thing. However, a focused blog helps me stay anonymous. :P I'm actually surprised people are still reading this blog.

Inzi - walaikum as salaam and thank you. :D

Aware Of Faith - Ameen and may Allah grant you the same. Ameen. :) I've hid your second comment for now as I'm not sure if you wished it to be available publicly. Let me know and I'll approve it. :)