Saturday, 28 April 2012

Checking Back

Time flies! I didn't realize how quickly one gets busy with life. I apologise to those who left me their email IDs and never heard back from me. I simply forgot to check my email after a few days of writing my last post. You'll be hearing from me shortly, inshallah! Those who included their email addresses in their comments, I have avoided approving your comments for now so that your emails are not solicited.

As a quick review, I've spoken to a few brothers over the last few months but perhaps only the last two are worth mentioning because of certain similarities. Both seemed like good brothers and appeared to be interested in speaking to me however somewhere shortly down the line, both backed out of communicating further rather abruptly. This has somewhat left me confused. I'm guessing they may have been communicating with other single sisters at the same time which led them eventually focus on others.

What are your thoughts on communicating with more than one person simultaneously? Is it smart, insensitive or just plain wrong?


Anonymous said...

assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullah its actually forbidden to speak to two persons at the same time. there's a hadith. have to find it for you

single4now said...

Yes, the hadith states that one brother should not send his proposal to a sister who has already received his brother's proposal (paraphrased). However, can the same principle be applied to interests. And would the same apply to communicating with many sisters at the same time.

Irrespective of what is good Islamic etiquette, is this something you have commonly come across?

AlabasterMuslim said...

Asalaamu alaikum!!
I think once a serious interest has taken place all communication with others should be stopped.
However the hadith is regarding a brother trying to holler at another man's fiance. Men in Islam of course can marry up to four women so no i do not think that hadith hat was mentioned by the other comment applies, especially if they are engaged.

single4now said...

Walaikum assalam. :)

I agree with you. Talking to more than one person at a time is pretty bad etiquette and appears insincere. But it probably happens more times than not. Especially with how easy communication is nowadays.

I'd heard of a sad story a while back where one girl was preparing for marriage only to learn that her "fiancé" was announcing getting married to someone else. That's obviously the worst case scenario. May Allah protect us from that. Ameen.

We should keep our intentions pure not just for the happiness of this world but also our akhira.

Anonymous said...

i would be very crushed if i knew that he was talking to someone else at the same time. i understand why it would not be permitted. look at the exemple you just gave and i know of many examples like that. one thing i hate also is those brothers you meet with mahrams of course and they say they will call you or whatever, and you never hear from them again. at least have the decency to talk to my mahram and tell him you are not interested

y said...

It seems completely wrong to me, unless the person lets you know they are talking to others simultaneously. And I don't think its right to talk to people at the same time if the conversations are getting serious. If the person just wants to know some general information about you, like just some general goals in life and random stuff like that then maybe its okay, but if there is an emotional connection, I dont think so.