Waiting...

As an update, I asked another brother to mediate and see if he can get the feel of how the brother feels about marriage and if he would consider communication. As luck would have it, they haven't had a chance to speak as yet so I'm still waiting. I don't want things to be rushed yet I'd rather I know asap if it's a no.

I've tried praying istikhara and I have been having completely mixed feelings. Sometimes, I felt it shouldn't be pursued. Other times, I felt I should consider it. So, I guess these are just my personal feelings and if it's meant to be, I'll find out when the brother decides whether he wants to proceed to discussions or not. At the moment, I feel very neutral about it.

Khair, inshaAllah.

Do Opposites Attract?

I think it's about time I had a post regarding my search. :P Here goes nothing!

I've been thinking of contacting a brother for a few days now but for several reasons, I've decided against it. One of the reasons is that I feel we are very different. He's definitely more religious than I am which makes me wonder if he'd consider marrying someone who hasn't reached his level of religiousness. Also, his interests seem to be extremely different from mine. There have been very few conversations that we've had (always in a group) and most of the time I have had very little input to offer on the matter because I do not generally enjoy reading/discussing about such topics in great detail. We definitely have different tastes in literature. And as far as I know, Islam may very well be the only thing common between us.

Pretty much the only reason I am even considering him is because he seems to have a very good nature. I've never heard him put down anyone or insult anyone. He definitely has a good sense of humor which he rarely shows but it's always good to know one isn't a completely serious lifeless person. :P

There are a lot of good reasons I can think of why this may not even work out but my friends insist that I should definitely consider at least letting him know of my interest. I suppose you develop an interest in what interests your spouse but I think two people should be able to talk to someone about things they love. I'm just not sure if opposites can truly attract one another.

Pleasant Surprise

Happy New Year folks and all that. :D It's been a while that I had logged in and decided to make a post. But I was pleasantly surprised to find that people are still reading and commenting on my blog. It's going to take a while for me to go through them and approve them.

I know I've been on a long break but I had also taken a break from the marriage search. Inshallah, I'm back and will share details of my journey as and when possible. :)

Some of the comments, I've read and decided I should post a reply without publishing them for the sake of the poster.

1. In response to matrimonial sites charging money (you know who you are) - unfortunately there are very few sites that will not charge money while providing you a decent service. It obviously takes money, time, effort to run a site. Hosting profiles, people accessing them requires bandwidth which costs money. Plus, providing the users support or other features which requires a tech team along with designing the site so that it's user friendly. It all costs money. I think in that sense Baba Ali's site should be the best. He's upfront about his charges. It's specifically for Muslims. He's reasonable and mashaAllah a very decent and humble brother. I think it's okay to pay money when joining matrimonial sites but yes, if it's an Islamic site, then you should try to make sure that they are not a dating site & people you contact are willing to communicate within the boundaries of Islam. My only reason for not publishing your comment is because you seemed a little annoyed at the time so you may not generally use the same choice of words otherwise. Yet, I wanted to respond to you. I think your concern is a good one.

2. To anonymous wondering about practicing/studying medicine while being married - I think it depends on you as a person. Marriage is a responsibility in of itself. I believe it's difficult to juggle marriage and studies. And even practicing medicine means you are in for a very busy initial phase which requires an extremely understanding partner. I think the best way to go about it is to speak to married dr.s. Preferably, I would delay marriage until you complete your studies since you are still quite young. Or some prefer to have a nikah but not a walima until they complete but that too is difficult since medicine is a very long course. Pray istikhara, speak at length to dr.s, your prospective spouse and your parents. Maybe even start medicine first, see how hectic your schedule is before you make a final decision. Either way, I wish you luck. Since you had shared your email, for your safety, I haven't approved the comment.

If there was a way to edit comments, it would make things a lot easier. Anyone know how?

Blogging Break

I know I've been away for a while now. I had a post written up in Ramadan but I decided to wait a while before posting it and now I do not feel the need for posting it at all.

Alhumdulillah Ramadan went well and so did Eid. My family and I decided to go on a road trip which was really enjoyable. Off late I've been going through some things which I've decided I need to take a little time off from blogging & other things to sort out. I would appreciate you all keeping me in your duas.

Jazakallah khair. :)

Best Time Of The Year

Original uploader.

Alhumdulillah, Ramadan is upon us and there is no better time than now to make duas and ask for a wonderful spouse and a happy marriage.

So, Ramadan Mubarak folks. Make the best use of your time and I pray that Allah accept our duas and our fasts, keep our hearts filled with His remembrance and beautify our actions during this holy month. Ameen.

Oh and just to add, Baba Ali's Half Our Deen finally went online last month.

Blogging Break

I wanted to make a couple of posts before I went on a break but I won't be able to. InshaAllah I'll be back in August.

Keep me in your duas. And if your comments are not getting published, it's because I didn't get a chance to do so. I'll try to be back as soon as possible.

Take care. :)

Facebook Friend Request

A lot of times when getting to know each other, people exchange emails, phone numbers, wali information, etc. But a few decide to send add requests on facebook.

I'm really not sure what to make of it. I usually dislike adding people I don't know even if it is someone I am communicating with for marriage. I'd rather not jump to being facebook friends. Yes, you can check out each other's friends and view photos they've uploaded and read through profile comments but isn't it better to get to know each other by actually communicating rather than spying on what they've been upto? Facebook is just too impersonal. People have the randomest conversations on it and many use it as a way to seem more popular. Much like twitter. Not saying these sites don't have their benefits. I'm just talking about people on average.

I just find it weird when someone initiates communication and sends me a link to their facebook page simultaneously. Not the way I'd like to go about it. Only my fiance/husband is getting on that or people I trust. Not every brother I communicate with. But that's my perspective. Opinions?